Footprints

My friend's father died last winter in Jo'burg. He had been driving along in his car and had stopped at traffic lights. He was shot and his body was pulled out of the car. The car was then driven off by the killer.

My friend's sister-in-law died of AIDS this spring. She'd caught the virus the usual way: by having sex. By having sex with her husband of 20 years. He'd caught it by having extramarital affairs. He'd then infected his wife and the child she was carrying.

My friend's mother has breast cancer. She's had a stroke, half of her body is paralysed and she is slowly wasting away. Slowly, too slowly.

My friend is the sole breadwinner in the household. With her strength and the money she earns she takes care of her family and extended family. Her husband of 20 years lost his job, and then vanished. He came back after a couple of days, but she threw him out. She now takes care of the family alone, haunted by the memories, devastated by what he has done, and fearing his actions have given her the virus and a life sentence.

I do not understand how someone can be punched, kicked and ripped apart by life so badly, and yet have the strength to carry on. Not only to carry on herself, but to be the strength for others, and to be the pillar for her family.

Everyone has a limit, and my friend almost recahed this limit on Friday. Her brother was killed in a hit and run accident. He had been visiting her that evening, and then gone home. His car was hit by a taxi. The taxi killed him and three other people, and then drove off.

I don't know how to console my friend. I have listened and given her a shoulder to cry on, but I have no answers to her question of: "Why does this always happen to me?" Heikki and I will pay for the funeral. It is not a big help, but at least our friend can concentrate in her sorrow without having to worry about the funeral costs.


I'm not a religious person, but this is my favorite poem:


One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when
I needed you most, you would leave me."

The Lord replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."